I Am Human
Posted on: 5th of May 2005 | Under: Thoughts & Emotions

I am fragile.

It’s a fact that I’ve known pretty much the entire of my almost-22 years of existence. Yes, the girl who claims herself to be the most optimistic person alive, worries and gets affected easily with what others say about her.

I worry. I cry. I get hurt.

What others say or do to me may stir and affect me more than anyone can imagine. Trickles of tears running down my face can quickly replace a happy look. A cry baby, that’s what I’ve always been. I find my feelings getting hurt, even by the most petty and mundane things. Admittedly, I am sensitive towards almost everything.

I have blinded those around me by hiding behind a mask of smiles. I may always seem jolly and perky, but a lot of times I’m really just forced to put on a carefree aura just to make everyone think that I’m okay. I fool people with my smiles and bouts of laughter, just so they won’t see how deeply hurt and bruised I am. Behind everything, what I am is just a girl who often sinks into a deep hole of depression. A hole so deep that sometimes it is a wonder how I would manage to lift myself out of it.

People perceive me as someone strong. Someone who’s always ready to take on any life bump or challenge with open arms. Yes, I can claim that I am just that, but before the optimism rubs in on me, I worry and become afraid. Only a handful of people know how weak I am. Only a handful know that before I become the strong person that everyone sees me as, I must be assured of warmth and security that everything will be okay. It is no wonder that I find myself clinging on to people around me: my strength would never be built without their help.

I am fragile and I am weak. I seek the help of others to build my inner strength. I know that’s not necessarily bad. It simply proves one thing – I am human.

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6 Comments to “I Am Human”

  1. chetz says:

    i agree. i am the same way. =)

  2. chetz says:

    i agree. i am the same way. =)

  3. Marz says:

    I’m like you as well.. although I may not show it out right to many people. =)

  4. nikz says:

    i think almost everybody is fragile, we just differ on the level of how good we hide it XD

  5. joylet says:

    hi anna, feel the same, most of the time! miss you also, galing! i was thinking about you over the weekend and got a big surprise when you left a note in my blog. anyway, i think i better email na lang. take care! *mwah!*